Yesterday was my birthday. After my annual ceremonies of merriment, I ventured to the streets to watch the parade being held in my honor. I came inside to be showered with lavish gifts a plenty. The scent of my banquet of large proportion drifted throughout the nostrils of all in my court. Upon dining, I fell into a deep sleep similar to that of a food coma. I awoke hours later and commenced to have the ceremonies elsewhere in the courtyard of my brethren. We sipped and dined on exotic cheeses, wines, and cakes. I received more gifts in bounty. Thereafter we were entertained by court menstrels and jesters while we witnessed the sun descending over my kingdom. After I changed into my jammy robe I began a slumber that lasted eight glorious hours.
This morning I woke up. My sweatpants were hiked up over my socks. My hair was a mess. I went to Sarah's kitchen and ate soup and leftover cake. It was nasty rain outside and mud was everywhere. I then came home to my tiny duplex to my birthday presents. I got a Mr. Potato head. I need to vaccuum. This is my kingdom.
Bow down bitches,
Stocknasty
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